Brownies that last more than 2 hours?

I am out of school until Monday so now’s my chance to blog. Eighth semester down with 21 credit hours to go. I could finish in two semesters but I’m only going to take 9 credits in the summer and 9 in the fall and finish a year from now. So I can keep my sanity; or at least the appearance of it. It makes me a little sick to my stomach that I have to go back to school and subject myself to … difficult tasks--projects, tests, etc. for one more year. How I wish I was done.

Speaking of which, Alden finished two years of school to be an R.N. and took the NCLEX exam this morning. He has worked so hard for it. How does anyone get through nursing school and pass the exams? My hat’s off to all of you who have crammed all of that information into your heads and survived. He has two little kids and now one more on the way; it hasn’t been easy for Sinda either. Richard finished a bachelor’s last year also with two little kids and one on the way. I am very proud of them for doing hard things even when they didn’t want to. I have a pretty good idea of how difficult it is.

I think the stress of school prevents me from losing any weight. I am trying to cut back on wheat (Richard found out he has celiac and is doing much better on a gluten-free diet). I know I do better on less wheat, too. So I am about to make brownies with quinoa flour. I laugh out loud at recipes that say “Store brownies for up to one week in a sealed container in the refrigerator.” On what planet? If I wrote the recipe book, it would say, “If you hide them, they might last more than 2 hours.”  I raised a bunch of boys who tried their best to eat me out of house and home. But I always stayed one step ahead of them. I guess most people don’t live in that kind of world. I am very fortunate to be surrounded by a great family.

Keith spoke in church Sunday. I know I am biased but he did a very good job; I was impressed. I am so lucky and so thankful for him and my great life. I was scared enough to marry him that he was afraid I would back out. The last thing he said to me, standing outside the sealing room in the temple before we got married was, “When I pinch you, just say ‘yes.’” Now I find the very idea of my hesitance to be funny. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I didn’t know then how lucky I was to have found him.

My ex-husband and I divorced because he got engaged to a woman who approached him first, while he was married to me. She’s a very shy, nice person, who felt stricken when she realized she destroyed my family. Not enough to bow out, of course—not sure what she was thinking would happen. But maybe the real reason we couldn’t stay together is because our religious views diverged and neither of us was willing to compromise. They married in Feb. 2011 and now she is dying of cancer. She has breast cancer that has now spread to her lungs, lymph, and liver and she has been unable to eat this last week and he told the kids she probably won’t last but another week or two. I am so sorry. I don’t know what he is thinking; I doubt he regrets anything. He wanted to be part of that group and I did not. Could not. But it turns out, I am perfectly okay. The pain I felt for many, many months was so severe, I thought I would die. But I just kept going, day after day.

I didn’t know three years ago that what I thought was a terrible tragedy would turn out to be a blessing to me. It was the kick in the rear that I needed to go to school. It changed the trajectory of my life. The change in my life has brought me joy and happiness. A few of you who know how I suffered in the beginning may know how significant it is that I can say that.

Brownies with vanilla ice cream await. I told you I have a great life : )