Guilt-free parenting? What's that?

This is the last week of classes, then finals are the week after. The stress is upon me but I thought I’d take a few minutes to say something.

I missed my four year old granddaughter’s birthday party yesterday to make my share of a team powerpoint presentation on the accumulated earnings tax and some other tax homework that had to be done. I love you, Victoria. I sent my husband and three youngest children with a gift in my stead. Is there such a thing as guilt-free parenting? I visited at their house Saturday afternoon, on my way back from taking Melody’s spare car keys to her at Thanksgiving point, and before taking Nathan and his friend to the movie theater. I’m not at all sure that that makes up for missing her party though. I do the best I can.

Only one more school year and I will be done with a bachelor’s degree. I could finish in December if I really pushed myself but I find it harder now that I am married. Fewer credit hours are better. So I will finish in April. Someone tell me what I should do after that. Should I get a master’s degree so I can get the CPA? Should I just find a job? If I go into auditing, do I need the master’s?

While I’m at it, may I say that I am so amazed by and thankful for this man that I married. Losses give you a different perspective and help you give up pettiness and selfishness. We are happy together in part because of our past traumas; we focus on what matters and let everything else go. Maybe I should speak for myself. I have learned to do these things. My tip of the day is marry someone who is nicer than you are—actually, I did that the first time, too but still, it did not end well. That is because he had agency and used it. I couldn’t make him stay any more than he could make me follow the path he wanted to take. If only I’d known what was coming, I could have handled it much better.

It was very hard to be a single parent and full-time student. I didn’t complain, I just kept going and going. Keith has allowed me to figuratively take a breath and give some of the burden to him. I had trouble sleeping for 2 ½ years. When you’re in fight-or-flight mode, your body doesn’t let you sleep even when you are sleep-deprived. Since I married him, I can sleep like a normal person. Yay for delicious miracles : )

Some habits die hard. Keith is working 6 am to 4 pm at one job and 5 pm to 10 pm at another. We can do anything for a year, right?