I am out of school until Monday so now’s my chance
to blog. Eighth semester down with 21 credit hours to go. I could finish in two
semesters but I’m only going to take 9 credits in the summer and 9 in the fall
and finish a year from now. So I can keep my sanity; or at least the appearance
of it. It makes me a little sick to my stomach that I have to go back to school
and subject myself to … difficult tasks--projects, tests, etc. for one more
year. How I wish I was done.
Speaking of which, Alden finished two years of
school to be an R.N. and took the NCLEX exam this morning. He has worked so
hard for it. How does anyone get through nursing school and pass the exams? My
hat’s off to all of you who have crammed all of that information into your
heads and survived. He has two little kids and now one more on the way; it hasn’t
been easy for Sinda either. Richard finished a bachelor’s last year also with
two little kids and one on the way. I am very proud of them for doing hard
things even when they didn’t want to. I have a pretty good idea of how
difficult it is.
I think the stress of school prevents me from losing
any weight. I am trying to cut back on wheat (Richard found out he has celiac
and is doing much better on a gluten-free diet). I know I do better on less
wheat, too. So I am about to make brownies with quinoa flour. I laugh out loud
at recipes that say “Store brownies for up to one week in a sealed container in
the refrigerator.” On what planet? If I wrote the recipe book, it would say, “If
you hide them, they might last more than 2 hours.” I raised a bunch of boys who tried their best
to eat me out of house and home. But I always stayed one step ahead of them. I
guess most people don’t live in that kind of world. I am very fortunate to be
surrounded by a great family.
Keith spoke in church Sunday. I know I am biased but
he did a very good job; I was impressed. I am so lucky and so thankful for him
and my great life. I was scared enough to marry him that he was afraid I would
back out. The last thing he said to me, standing outside the sealing room in
the temple before we got married was, “When I pinch you, just say ‘yes.’” Now I
find the very idea of my hesitance to be funny. He is the best thing that has
ever happened to me. I didn’t know then how lucky I was to have found him.
My ex-husband and I divorced because he got engaged
to a woman who approached him first, while he was married to me. She’s a very
shy, nice person, who felt stricken when she realized she destroyed my family.
Not enough to bow out, of course—not sure what she was thinking would happen.
But maybe the real reason we couldn’t stay together is because our religious
views diverged and neither of us was willing to compromise. They married in
Feb. 2011 and now she is dying of cancer. She has breast cancer that has now
spread to her lungs, lymph, and liver and she has been unable to eat this last
week and he told the kids she probably won’t last but another week or two. I am
so sorry. I don’t know what he is thinking; I doubt he regrets anything. He
wanted to be part of that group and I did not. Could not. But it turns out, I am perfectly okay. The pain I felt
for many, many months was so severe, I thought I would die. But I just kept
going, day after day.
I didn’t know three years ago that what I thought
was a terrible tragedy would turn out to be a blessing to me. It was the kick
in the rear that I needed to go to school. It changed the trajectory of my
life. The change in my life has brought me joy and happiness. A few of you who
know how I suffered in the beginning may know how significant it is that I can
say that.
Brownies with vanilla ice cream await. I told you I
have a great life : )
