Buns, "Daminals", and slow learners

May 12, 2011

I’ve learned something about Sam’s personality. He has an instant, hot temper and he doesn’t like change from his normal routine. He gets extremely anxious over it but then finds out it’s not so bad after all. A couple nights ago, I bought a pound of hamburger and made a fast, easy dinner: green salad mix from a bag, frozen French fries, baked, and hamburger patties, no buns. Sam threw a big, screaming, crying fit because there were no buns. I finally had to send him out of the room until he could stop crying so loudly. I have rarely made this for dinner, possibly not at all in the last two years. Trying to convince him that it was a legitimate dinner, I said that when I was little, my mom would sometimes make hamburgers the same way and serve them without buns. Nathan helpfully added, “Buns probably weren’t invented yet back then.” Yes, he was completely serious. This from the same child who told me a year ago to be sure and bring my driver’s license to GameStop because “you can’t return a game unless you’re over 18.” Wouldn’t it be great to live in blissful ignorance of the way things really are? Not really but that’s the world he is in for a short while longer. Eventually, Sam came back to the table and Joy brought out Danimals yogurts for each of them (better known as Daminals by Sam). I told Sam he could not drink his until he ate one bite of hamburger, one French fry, and his salad. He ended up liking it so much that he ate three hamburgers. What a waste of a screaming fit!

Two years ago, when my husband told me he was marrying another woman whether I agreed to it or not, my world was blown apart. On principle, I could not do what he was asking of me. The grief was deep, the trauma was long, but eventually, peace returned to my life and to my soul. I no longer see myself as a tragic figure. Possibly, I am very fortunate. (Give me a few more years to express that with more confidence.) It’s okay after all. There is still joy in life and I’ve learned things I could not have learned any other way—or at least, any less painful way. I was pushed to do difficult things that I would never have done otherwise. In that regard, I am thankful for what happened to me. I think that maybe the intensity of my response was a wasted effort though, just like Sam’s fit. The Lord implores us to “Fear not” over and over. Could I have responded in a more calm, trusting way that would have made my trial easier than I allowed it to be? I’m a slow learner. I hope to figure it out one day.