Pre-cognitive dream?

Sunday night I dreamed that I was at my neighbor's house. It was the middle of the night and their kids were asleep. The dad asked me to watch their daughter and showed me her room. She was sleeping and I was supposed to help her. If she got uncovered, I would pull the blanket back up on her. She never woke up while I was there. I went downstairs and along the way, I saw lots of folded laundry. I thought, "Oh, the mom has done lots of laundry and all the blankets are clean. I picked up one of the folded blankets and took it in the front room to lie down. I used part of the blanket, wadded up, as my pillow.

Monday night, my son called me at 11:15 pm, saying that his wife had broken her arm and could I please come over while they went to the hospital? We rushed over. The three little kids were asleep and they took their 2 month old with them to the hospital. I swept and mopped, took the load of laundry out of the dryer, put the load from the washer into the dryer and folded a couple loads in baskets. Finally, I laid down on the couch at 1 am. One of the baby's blankets was on the couch so I wadded it up for a pillow. Then I realized it was like the dream I'd had the night before. I was in someone else's house watching their kids who never woke up. The mom had done lots of laundry, and I used a blanket for my pillow.

Why did I dream what would happen the next day? It was not exactly the same in form but it was the same in substance. How are these things known before they happen. And why would I be shown something so mundane. Well, it was a crisis for my son and daughter-in-law.

Have you ever had a pre-cognitive dream? I've had at least one other. Very interesting. I'm still trying to figure out what, if anything, there is for me to learn from it.

I want to keep my muscle mass. And my vision.

This is my two cents’ worth of thoughts on what I’ve learned lately. If you’re under 35, you probably don’t care about any of this. But you might have a parent or grandparent you can pass it on to. Or if you plan to live past 40, you might find it interesting. I used to think that after 45 or so, your body betrays you. But it's really the other way around. If you don't exercise, you betray your body.

People generally increase in strength up to the age of 30 and after the age of 35 approximately, we lose about 1% per year of muscle mass. After the age of 45, we lose about 1% per year of bone mass, too.  Astronauts can lose 1% of muscle and bone mass per MONTH when subjected to conditions of no gravity. You’re not an astronaut, though, right? So no big deal.  But, what we need to know is that sitting for long periods has the same effect as living without gravity. So if you have a desk job or sit at the computer or on the couch for several hours a day, your rate of muscle and bone mass is much closer to that of astronauts. Yikes.  The very simple fix is to stand up at least every 10 minutes. That’s it. You don’t have to run around the block. Just sit back down. Working an 8 hour shift, this means you would stand up 48 times. That’s about 2 minutes per day of your time to slow down the aging process significantly.

I think a one mile walk every day is important, too. But it’s the standing and sitting back down during sedentary periods that really affects muscle and bone mass.

Sources: http://www.unm.edu/~lkravitz/Article%20folder/age.html  http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/6098.php http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/ART02720/Osteoporosis.html http://www.stonehearthnewsletters.com/regular-exercise-in-middle-age-protects-against-muscle-weakness-later-in-life/benefits-exercise/

Also, this is the year that I pretty much NEED my reading glasses, rather than using them because it’s a little easier to read stuff if I have them around.  Keith is right there with me.

My in-laws were here visiting last week and my father-in-law can’t drive anymore due to macular degeneration. I don't think he can read a computer screen anymore either.  He admonished us to wear sunglasses to prevent UV ray damage. You probably know there are expensive vitamins out there for it.  Of the 600 carotenoids found in nature, only two are deposited in high quantities in the retina (macula) of the eye: lutein and zeaxanthin. (http://www.aoa.org/patients-and-public/caring-for-your-vision/diet-and-nutrition/lutein)  

A single serving of cooked, frozen spinach contains close to 30 milligrams of lutein and zeaxanthin, which is the maximum amount present in any food, according to the USDA National Nutrient Database. The quantity of these two nutrients varies based on method of preparation, but cooked, frozen, fresh and canned dark green leafy vegetables such as kale, spinach, turnip greens, collards, dandelion greens, and mustard greens top the list with 8 to 25 milligrams of lutein and zeaxanthin per serving. (http://healthyeating.sfgate.com/foods-containing-lutein-zeaxanthin-4259.html)

Yeah, not everyone’s favorite foods. No wonder macular degeneration is so common! Also, interestingly, the raw greens have lower levels of lutein and zeaxanthin than cooked. So put it in spaghetti sauce, lasagna, stew, chili, soup, etc. Colorful vegetables are also good sources, just not as high as leafy green stuff.

The bathroom is clean!

I was certainly not the best mom but when we lived on 40 acres in Missouri (1992 to 2004), it was part of my mission in life to teach my kids to work. I was trying to emulate my Mennonite neighbors who aim to teach their boys to do everything the father can do by age 16 and for the girls to be able to do everything the mother can do by age 16. There were no sexist divisions in our household though. We had, in fairly quick succession, Richard, Alden, Taylor, and Spencer. (Their acronym: RATS—we didn’t get a girl.) They hauled wood and split and cut it when they got old enough. They hauled hay and fed horses and milked the cow and weeded long rows of raspberries and blueberries. But they also had to do dishes and mop floors.

All four of them are such good dads now who help clean the house and change diapers. I am very proud of them, as that was my goal.

My one regret though is that I didn’t teach them to clean the bathroom the way my mom taught me. I’m so sorry I did you this disservice. I can only make up for it by teaching the last four. Today was 16 year old Nathan’s turn. Nathan has been the “inept” one who always wanted to be waited on but this year, that has changed. (He was born with TAPVR—total anomalous pulmonary veinous return but I didn’t know until his father and I separated; Nathan had open heart surgery three years ago and is finally becoming strong like a normal kid.) Nathan did so well cleaning the bathroom! It was practically effortless. Okay, maybe it felt that way because I was mostly talking and pointing. :-) I do have talents and sometimes, I use them.

I picture my mom learning this from her mom or Old Gram (my mom’s grandmother). I am typing this for the benefit of my posterity.

1.  Wipe the entire floor with a paper towel. This gets all the nasty dust and hair. If you have never done this, you will be shocked at what comes off an otherwise clean-looking floor.  Yes, I know you can sweep it but this is how my mother taught me.

2. Fill the sink with hot water. Pour in a couple of tablespoons’ worth of Pine Sol. Or whatever cleaner you like.

3. Dip your rag in the water, wring it out, and wipe down faucet and counter, door knobs, light switch.

4. Using the same sink of water, keep cleaning and wringing your rag; clean toilet seat, cover and all of the outside of porcelain. Scrub inside of toilet with brush.

5. Last, wipe entire floor with the rag.

6.  Clean out sink and you are done.

One of  my childhood memories is walking in the front door and being hit by the smell of pine sol. I knew my mom was upstairs cleaning bathrooms. I have been influenced by FlyLady and switched to Windex so my kids won't have this memory.

That’s right, we didn’t do the tub/shower. That’s a task for a different day. If it’s too big of a job, it will just get procrastinated. Surely I’m not the only one who can procrastinate cleaning a bathroom?? Melody, my dear daughter, you are next. I wonder what kind of bathrooms you’ll encounter in the rain forest of Peru?

Babysitting a tree; Krispy Kreme; Deadheading

I am babysitting a tree. Named Rory. I’m great with plants but I’m not so good with tropical house plants. First, I kill them with too much water. Then I try again and kill them with not enough water. I bought one of those tall Fern-type plants because I LOVE them. In stores. After I get them home, they don’t do so well. It’s been in the corner of the front room for over a year with absolutely no new growth and it looked pretty sickly.

This is what they look like in the store. When Melody returns from Hawaii with my camera, I will show you mine. Half of the stalks died and the remaining ones turned brown on the ends. I trimmed off the brown, moved it to the sunny window, put Rory next to it and I’m trying hard to give them the right amount of water, though I have no idea what is the right amount. I shower love on them. Does that count for anything? Hurry back to the mainland, Marissa. Just in case.

I’ve only eaten Krispy Kreme donuts about 5 times in my life. They are SO good when they’re still warm and soft! This is why I stay away from the place. I’m fat enough already. But today, Sam requested we get some. I ordered a dozen glazed donuts and the helpful young man said, “Would you like a second dozen glazed donuts for 76 cents?” Well, I’m not as dumb as I look so I said yes. They were still warm and melt-in-your-mouth soft. Ahhh. Surely we’ll have these things in heaven. After Nathan ate one, Sam said, “Can we make a rule that everyone just eats one?! We’re gonna run out!”

“There are 24 of them. And three of us,” I said.

“Let’s just eat one box then and save the other one.”

“What are we saving the other one for?”

“For me and Keith,” he said as if that was the most natural, logical, no-brainer explanation ever and he must think his mother is a dim bulb to need it explained.

But, we were on our way to my son, Richard’s house so Nathan could pull weeds and mow the lawn; we shared and no donuts made it home, fortunately for everyone except maybe Keith who was at work. I helped Nathan pull the weeds because it was a large area with lots of tall weeds and I thought he might need help and the morale boost of me working with him. What a good workout. My legs and arms were a bit shaky when we were done. You don’t think it had anything to do with the 5 donuts I ate right beforehand, do you?

Also, I taught my 5 yr old granddaughter, Victoria how to dead head today. She seemed dubious at first but I patiently explained that the plant will make new flowers if you cut off the dead ones. If you don’t, the plant will put its energy into making seeds but not new flowers. She went into the house, found a pair of scissors and happily cut off dead daisies and roses. She said, “You should tell Mommy about this!” (This makes me smile because her mama is a multi-talented genius at many things but not yard work.) I hope I haven’t created a monster. Near the end, she was trimming off the new flowers on the blue salvia. The great thing about grandparenting is you just go home at the end of the day and let their parents deal with…whatever. J

While I was trimming dead daisies, 3 yr old Ben came up and in a shocked, plaintive voice said, “Grandma, WHY are you cutting off the flowers??” His tone was plainly stunned, scared even, to have just discovered that his grandma is really a psychotic plant mutilator. Again, I explained that the plant would only make new flowers if we cut off the dead ones. I don’t think he was convinced. To the parents, sorry for using the kitchen scissors. I hope I haven’t given them ideas now when they see them in the drawer. If you had houseplants, I’d be afraid. I still remember the time when my brother-in-law, Ardie, pruned the apple tree in the backyard, all the while being carefully observed by 3 yr old Richard and 1 ½ yr old Alden. The next day, they took scissors to my ficus tree and butchered it. It’s funny now. But I was stupid then and yelled at them. I wish I could do that over. It’s so much easier to be patient from 20 years’ distance.

One more thing. I finally caved and bought an XBox Kinect. If you're one of my children, I'm sure you're wondering who or what has possessed me. I haven't bought a game player of any kind since the early 1990's. Nathan was so sore after the first couple of days of boxing, etc. ( I don't even know what the games are) that he had to take a nap and not do anything strenuous. Ha Ha. Fun times.

Snarkiness not allowed; Grandma, you're such a nice girl

I recently read a Carolyn Hax column where a woman is devastated when she overhears someone criticizing her and saying that she is “awful” and the woman she’s talking to agrees. The first woman thinks of herself as nice and likeable and wonders what to do. Anyone who’s been on the planet very long has been disliked or bullied or the target of snark at some point in life. It doesn’t feel good. I handle it better since my friend Norman Price told me at least 18 years ago, “Stop expecting everyone to like you.” I try to concentrate on those who love me easily and avoid those who don’t. I release them with kindness because it’s perfectly okay if some people don’t like me. We are all different and gravitate towards some, but not all, people. And I so love the people that DO gravitate towards me, that “click” with me.

A week or so ago, I was talking on the phone in the hallway and as a co-worker walked by, the words coming out of my mouth were, “she is very capable and competent.” She and I made eye contact just as I was saying this and she kept walking. I was not talking about anyone at work but I thought, “How nice if she thinks I am talking about her or one of our other coworkers.” And I would have been horrified if I had been saying something negative. I would like to be caught more often saying good things about people. It’s easy to be critical with no thought for the pain we cause others.  I’d like to be more like the handful of people I’ve known who always have something good to say about others. I’ll keep practicing. J

Approximately four years ago, my life wasn’t what I wanted it to be. I did not want to make changes but circumstances beyond my control forced me to completely change my life. Now, I am so very thankful for all the things that have happened since early 2009.  My marriage of 27 years ended, which caused me great sorrow. Total despair, actually. I learned to get out of bed anyway every single day. I gained two daughters-in-law to add to the two I already had. I gained 8 grandchildren to add to the two I already had. I learned to be grateful for every little thing. I learned to be happy. I earned a bachelor’s degree. I married the love of my life, hidden in the most unlikely (I thought) persona of Keith Chandler. Sometimes I ask him, “Who knew we would be so happy together?!” He answers, “NO one!” Then we both laugh. I found a job at BYU where I would be happy to stay until I retire. I didn’t get back to what I weighed at 30 or even 39. I possibly ate too much chocolate. I often didn’t get enough sleep. But still, my cup runneth over. I am awash in gratitude and joy. What more could I ask?

An old post I don't remember writing. This is why you should write things down!

September 3, 2012

Things I’ve heard people say recently:

Grandma, you are such a nice girl! (Victoria)

If William hits me at my house, then my dad has to come home from work in THREE MINUTES! (Claudya)

But if we split it in half, she’ll take ALL of it! (Nathan, referring to his big sister, Melody.)

Trace your family tree

This post is a shameless plug to get you interested in searching out your ancestors. At familysearch.org, you can get a sign-in and do some research or just see the research that has already been done. If you are LDS, use your member sign in that you would look up the ward phone list with. If you're not LDS, you can create a log in of your own.

I am new at it and was showing my dad while he was here this weekend. We found a line on his mother's side that went back to the 1400's. So I was trying to show Melody but went back on a different line. As you go back farther in time, there are many different lines of descendancy. Most of them, I have not looked at yet. But lots of research has been done on my dad's maternal side. Here is just one: (maiden names; dates are year of birth, places are place of birth)
I am the daughter of Richard Holmes. He is the son of Queenie Rain Tedder, 1901 McIntosh, Alabama. She is the daughter of Stella Margaret Rush, 1881 McIntosh Alabama. She is the daughter of
Erminia Collier Rain, daughter of
Daniel Cornelius Rain, son of
Cornelius Rain, McIntosh, Alabama, son of
Margaret Carney, St. John's Parish, Georgia, daughter of
Elizabeth Aderton, born 1733, Rowan North Carolina, dau of
Anne Price Luckett, born 1719, Charles Maryland, dau of
Thomas Hussey Luckett, Pt. Tobacco Parish, Charles, Maryland, son of
Elizabeth Hussey, 1667, Charles Maryland, dau of
Thomas Hussey, 1615, All Hallows, London, England, son of
John Hussey, 1600, Harby, Lincolnshire, England, son of
Mary Wroth 1563 Durants, Enfield, Middlesex, England, dau of
Thomas Wroth 1516, Durants, Enfield, Middlesex, England, son of
Robert Esq. Wroth, 1482 Bishopsbourne, Kent England, son of
Averia Mortimer daughter of
Sir John Mortimer 1368, Usk, Monmouthshire, Wales and Joan de Beaufort 1375 born at Chauteau de beauf, Meese, France. She is the daughter of
Prince Lionel Plantagenet, Duke of Clarence, 29 Nov 1338 in Antwerp Belgium, son of
Edward de Plantagenet III 1312, son of
Edward II Pantagenet 1284, son of
King Edward I of England 1239 and Eleanor of Castile, Edward I is the son of
Henry II 1133 and Eleanor of Aquitaine, Queen of England born in La Mans, France. Henry is the son of
Matilda, Empress of England born 1102, daughter of King Henry I Beauclerc of England 1068, son of
King William I Conqueror born 1028 married Matilda de Flanders

My daughter-in-law is a descendant of Eric the Red and my son is a descendant of William the Conqueror. This totally explains my grandson Ben's behavior! :-)

It's fun. Go see where your lines of ancestry lead! I haven't even looked at most of mine yet. I have a lot more to do.

Of bunnies, opposable thumbs, and stuck accelerators

I read James Michener’s Hawaii when my second child was a babe in arms. Just a few years ago J. One thing I remember is the Chinese immigrants brought to be laborers would get married in China, leave a week or so later, send money home over the years, expecting to return one day, but of course, they never were able to return. So one guy acquires a ‘concubine’ after coming to Hawaii (since he already had a real wife, he can’t marry her ) and they tell their children about their “real” mother in China, who of course is not their real mother in any sense. So I have this bunny. Her “real owner” lives in Hawaii, a certain Miss Claudya Compton. But she will probably never really live with Claudya again. She’s mine to take care of, with a little help from Joy who thinks she’s the real owner.  But I am the one who takes pity on the bunny when it’s raining or snowing outside, buys her food, and feels guilty about her caged life.

She got sick recently and we have to hand feed her.  So I get up a little earlier to have to time to feed her before work. Then I send texts to Keith so he will feed her when he’s home in the late afternoon between jobs. It struck me this evening that I didn’t think at all about what Nathan would eat all day but I thought about poor bunny. This is probably because he has opposable thumbs and can open a frig and operate a microwave, the total extent of his survival skills. The only survival skill available to a caged bunny is to look cute and somewhat pitiful at the same time.

And, my car broke today. It hasn’t needed any work in four years so I guess I can’t complain. The accelerator is stuck. At a zillion rpms. No, that’s not an exaggeration. I think I scared Nathan who was with me when it happened. I thought that only happened in movies. So Keith came and rescued me, called a tow truck and will ride his bike to work so I can take his car tomorrow. I guess I would’ve called one of the boys if he weren’t around but it was so nice to have him take care of it for me.

So I have an 8 to 5 job in the accounts payable department at BYU. And I graduate magna cum laude from the Woodbury school of business at UVU later this month. I am loving my capstone class, which I heard so many negative stories about that I was scared to take it. I have taken to the capsim business simulation like a duck to water  and am having lots of fun. My team submitted our last round last night and we have a couple hundred point lead in the class.

Richard, I want to hear about your trip to Peru. Alden, I want to hear about your job. Melody got a passport so I guess the State Department decided she was real after all. It only took 5 months. (They think I'm a flake because she was born at home with a midwife and it took me 14 months to get her birth certificate-red flags, I guess.)  She needs to get some cavities filled and then she will submit papers to go on a mission. It’s a full life!